Jenner No sooner did Bruce Jenner start hormone replacement therapy to become a woman than he caused a serious car accident that left one person dead and seven others injured.

Coincidence? Absolutely not.

Even though men have more accidents than women, display riskier behaviors behind the wheel and account for more driving citations, I am absolutely positive men are better drivers, and I will race anyone from my house to the hobo camp in White Oak and back to prove it.

And what is Bruce thinking with this whole sex change anyway?

Being a dude is awesome. Everywhere I go people just assume I know what I’m doing. Strangers solicit advice at the hardware store and people at the bank ask what I think about the stock market, and I dutifully give my answers.

Do I know what I talking about? Fuck no. I haven’t read a book in years, and I spend my free time killing my remaining brain cells with cheap liquor and homemade beer. But the point is people trust a man, and living a life where you’re never second-guessed and always assumed to be in control is awesome.

The way I see it, being born a man isn’t a gift – It’s a reward. I’ve lived dozens of past lives to work my way up to this point, and I’ll be goddamned if I’d squander it by going back down the ladder to become a woman.

I guess the one exception would be if I could be a super-hot Asian chick because they’re just amazing.