I used to live next to moron, and he dated a really hot Native American chick but he cheated on her, and she said he cursed him. He then got freaked out because every time something bad happened to him, he attributed it to the curse.

I then explained that all of the bad things that kept happening to him like his DUI or his truck getting repossessed were because he was an imbecile and a fuck-up, not because his hot ex-girlfriend cast some hocus-pocus bullshit while dancing around a fire.

Plus, if injuns had any real magic, this would still be their country.

Flash forward a few years, and last Friday a group of new ladies put down Pinterest and Facebook long enough to gather under the crescent moon and cast a “binding spell” on Trump to keep him from doing harm and to banish him from office.

All they needed was an orange candle with Trump’s name inscribed on it with a pin, an unflattering photo of him (as if one exists), a Tarot card of The Tower and some other stupid thing I’m not even going to bother to look back up to type.

It may have been a feather.

Whatever the fuck it was, these dopes plan to continue casting their spells, and they’re calling for all likeminded witches to join them again on March 26, April 24th and May 23rd.

First off, are you idiots serious? Second, do you honestly think sitting on the floor chanting incantations you’ve read from your smart phone while moving novelty items around an orange candle will do anything?

I once kicked a gypsy in the nuts and nothing bad happened to me, so I’m pretty sure this curse nonsense is a waste of time.