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Everybody hates it when the price of something we need every day suddenly skyrockets. When that happens people tend to lose their grip on reality and do stupid things like the two men in Tampa who pumped gas from a BP station’s underground tank into barrels inside their specially modified minivan. Of course they were spotted while doing it, and though both escaped, they lost their minivan and are now fugitives.

Gas is about $4 a gallon, and even if you manage to steal 200 gallons, that’s still only $800 worth of product. If these guys in Tampa planned to resell the stolen fuel, there are smaller things you can grab that are worth a lot more money. Hell, 40 bottles of diet pills are worth the same amount, and you can fit them in a big purse. Try doing that with 200 gallons of fuel.

If they were stealing the gas for personal use, what was their plan after taking it? People tend to notice shit like you filling up your car in your driveway out of barrels.

If you want to beat the high cost of gasoline, and your house is already heated with natural gas, buy a Honda Civic that runs on compressed natural gas. It gets 38 mpg on the highway, and if you refuel it at home, the cost per gallon is less than half that of gasoline.

Then again, if those Civics ever catch on, the price of natural gas will be driven up by speculators, and we’ll all be back to square one. Maybe I’ll just tie a bunch of homeless people to my car and have them pull it like sled dogs. They’re mostly powered by Thunderbird, and if you buy it by the case, it’s still cheaper than gasoline.