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uri It appears there is a boutique travel agency in New Jersey that arranges tours to North Korea. It’s called Uri Tours, and they say trips to the communist paradise are booming. In fact, they expect a record 500 people to arrange visas through their service this year.

The company made the news when it was announced Dennis Rodman used them for his recent trip, and if they can get that head-case in and out of the country without him getting sent to a secret government prison, I’m sure they can handle me.

The only hiccup is my wife has outright forbidden me to book us a vacation there, but I’m sure she’ll be secretly pleased when I do it anyway. The Kim Il-sung birthday tour is only available once a year in mid-April, and I don’t want to miss it.

For eight glorious nights we’ll be able to party with the locals while they praise the life of their past leader. There’s also a tour scheduled of the newly opened mausoleum which holds the preserved bodies of Kim Il-sung and his son, Kim Jong-il. Each of them is viewable under a clear sarcophagus, and as long as I can fight the urge to get a picture of me doing a blowfish on the glass, I expect it to be  pretty cool.

As with anything this awesome, there are some downsides. Each foreigner is assigned their own chaperone who goes everywhere you do, and according to people who’ve taken the tour, they act like they’re your fun uncle, but they’re really just spies for the regime.

Considering the country is broke as shit, I have to hope my spy will be susceptible to bribes. With any luck, we’ll be able to get into some mischief and maybe even hunt some villagers for sport. Who knows; we’ll have to play it by ear.