My son is two-and-a-half months old, and when I was feeding him the other day, I was telling him that after he puts on a few more pounds, were going to cook him and eat him. I tickled his little double chin and he laughed, so I kept going on with it. I finally stopped when my wife entered the room, but apparently the damage had already been done.

When I got to daycare yesterday, one of the women had a concerned look on her face, and she asked if she could speak to me privately. I followed her into the office, and I was genuinely worried that something happened to one of my kids. After what seemed like an eternity, she cut to the chase.

When my daughter was playing with the kitchen set that day, she put a baby doll in the oven. When the teacher said that wasn’t nice, she said “Me and daddy are gonna cook my baby brother.”

Of course I laughed when I heard that, but this old woman didn’t think anything was funny about it. I promised her I would have a talk with my daughter, and it wouldn’t happen again.

I really don’t even understand why this is such a big deal. It’s not like my daughter can even reach the controls of the real oven, and my little porker of a son is already over 13 pounds. She could never lift him by herself.

Women never seem to see the big picture.