Krieger_Kleanse I just read a book about the bubonic plague that ravaged Medieval Europe, and the number of people who died in the initial outbreak was staggering. However, deaths dwindled with subsequent plagues because survivors passed down helpful mutations that better allowed their descendants to cope with the disease.

The same thing goes for infant mortality. Tons of children died in infancy, and those that survived gave their stronger genes to their kids.

For the first time in our species’ history, we now have the capability to tweak our genetic code for our benefit, and we don’t need to kill half the population to do it. Instead of spending billions on stupid political campaigns and pointless wars, we should be genetically modifying our population right now.

For example, I wasted a large part of my twenties trying to get laid, and I would love to have that time back. I want scientists to make us more like animals, and I think we should have distinct breeding seasons.

Every spring all the men will go to parks, playgrounds and other undeveloped areas, and we will battle each other for the right to breed with the females. After the completion of the mating season, we’ll have 11 months to focus on productive things before we start the whole process again.

While we’re focused on the animal kingdom, scientists might also want to consider hibernation. The idea of just sleeping through the winter sounds pretty appealing, and you eggheads should start figuring out how to make that happen.