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Mitt Romney just released his tax returns, and it appears he gave away an average of 13.5% of his yearly income to charity over the last 20 years. That’s a staggering amount, but I’m far more like the miserly Obama. Before he started trying to look good for the presidency, he gave away about 1% of his income a year.

That’s a nice reminder of how generous liberals can be with your money, but how tight they are with their own. Then again, iPhones and iPads aren’t cheap, and what’s the point of being a socially conscious little crusader if you can’t jump on the Internet and tell everyone about it.

I would consider giving more of my money away if I could find a charity that embodies my ideals. I think what I’m really looking for is an organization committed to causing chaos and destruction on a global scale. A Guild of Evil if you will.

I just read the rules for establishing a non-profit, and nothing seems to prohibit me from establishing one for evil purposes. I just have to spin the mission in the correct way. Instead of saying I support genocide and murder, I need to say I want to reduce the world’s population to a more sustainable level.

Damn it, I’m going to do this. I just reserved www.guildofevil.com, and this time next year, I hope I can count on your generous support to help me further our mission to “Cleanse the world of the poor, sick and hungry.”