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I own a medium-sized Dodge dump truck, and as I was driving down the road the other day, a pretty funny thing happened. The power steering and brakes went out simultaneously. This also happened as I was going down a hill and approaching a stop light, and I had to decide if I wanted to hit the RV or the shiny silver Mercedes stopped at the bottom.

Luckily I did get it stopped about 5 feet before hitting anyone and the driver of that Mercedes was pretty lucky because she was the one who was going to get it.

It turns out my truck runs the boost for the brakes off the power steering pump, so if that little pump goes, you lose brakes and steering. I’m no engineer, but I seem to detect a small flaw with that design. Steering and stopping are both pretty important for the safe operation of a motor vehicle, and the more I think about it, they’re really the only two goddamn things that you literally can’t live without.

I’m not sure why Dodge stopped there. Maybe next year they can add a feature where if your power steering pump fails, your windshield goes black and a small jet of flames shoots out from the dash and sets your dick on fire.