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Virginia’s General Assembly is sending a revised bill to the governor requiring women who want an abortion to first undergo an abdominal ultrasound so they have to see the fetus and hear its beating heart. Before it was amended, abortion rights advocates said the bill required state-sanctioned rape because they claimed ultrasounds done early in a pregnancy would have to be done transvaginally. That caused a rewrite of the bill to specifically state all ultrasounds would be done through the abdomen.

I don’t give a damn about abortion, but how do you think they’re going to do the procedure, ladies? You only have three holes, and I’m pretty sure they’re not going in through your mouth. With or without this law something is going up your cooch, and since that thing gets a lot of traffic anyway, are you sure you’ll even notice?

I personally think this law is a stupid waste of time, and if liberals don’t want to breed, I’m fine with that. If this ultrasound requirement has you concerned, you can stop worrying. “Accidental” punches to the stomach are still perfectly legal, and Dr. Codajoy would be happy to give you one anytime.

Another thing that always amazes whenever abortion hits the news is how quickly women who will never, ever get pregnant turn out to protest. Look at the fat tub in the picture. The only man who has been in that chick’s house in the last five years is the Domino’s Pizza delivery driver. I get it. You’re gross, no one wants to bang you, and you’ve latched onto this issue as a way to salvage what’s left of your self-esteem. Now go home and get back to making videos of your cat.