The left-wing media has been in an uproar over President Trump’s plan to remove federal funding from the National Endowment for the Arts and PBS but they’re expected to positively go ballistic over his proposed new liberal tax.
It turns out foot-stomping tirades, vagina-inspired protests and impassioned Facebook posts don’t actually do anything to help the oppressed people that liberals pretend to care so much about, so the government plans to step in and do what their consciences won’t.
A full draft of the proposed document has yet to be released, but White House press secretary Sean Spicer has hinted that it’s going to be far reaching. In addition to taxing nearly all of their discretionary income, a sort of mandatory conscription has been proposed.
Studies have shown that households headed by liberals are actually 30% less likely to give to charitable causes than households headed by conservatives. Liberals are also less likely than conservatives to actually volunteer to help others, but this plan will change that.
Once enacted, men and women over the age of 18 who identify as liberal will be required to devote at least ten hours a week to actually helping others and simply posting for ten hours on Facebook that the government should do it won’t count. Ditto for voting Democrat and then sitting back with a sense of smug satisfaction.
It’s also being suggested that liberals should have to live for at least two years in predominantly non-white neighborhoods so their enlightened sense of race relations can inspire a sense a racial harmony. The joy of hunting them for sport is also expected to increase neighborhood morale.