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Modern prophet and Internet porn aficionado, Mike Codajoy, received a stunning revelation from God and was shown a TV Guide from the year 2025. These are the hottest shows of that year.

Survive Detroit –The motor city has deteriorated into a dystopian dreamscape where a vicious gang headed by the dad from That ’70s Show terrorizes the population. Each week four suburban teenagers are air-lifted into the heart of the city and have to stay alive for 24 hours. If they make it, they can either leave with their prize or go double-or-nothing on Telemundo’s hit show, Survive Ciudad Juarez.

Wheel of Fortune – In a gritty reboot of the popular game show, wheelchair-bound contestants must negotiate a mined obstacle course.

American Gladiators: Prison System – Every week inmates from America’s toughest prisons are pitted against each other in fights to the death. This week’s main event is an Aryan Retiarius matched against a Puerto Rican Secutor.

Chinese News Hour – This a Mandarin-language broadcast heard on the Chinese-controlled U.S. west coast.

The Simpsons – For their 37th season, Homer and the gang leave Kentucky and move to Emperor Gingrich’s moon colony.

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