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In the good old days, people with disabilities were viewed as cursed by God, and they were shunned. There were no wheelchair ramps on ancient buildings, and as far as I know, there weren’t any handicapped parking spots in front of the pyramids, either.

Vlad the Impaler even supposedly invited all the cripples of his realm to a great feast and then burned them alive when it was done.

For some reason our government has abandoned these time-tested ways to treat the handicapped, and new Revised Standards for the Americans with Disabilities Act are taking effect. One of the provisions that stands out to me is the requirement that businesses allow miniature horses on their premises as guide animals.

I’m not really sure why horses are better than dogs, but I’m sure business owners will appreciate cleaning up a steaming pile of pony poop instead of a slightly more manageable dog turd.

In addition to making jails and prisons handicapped accessible, the regulations also inexplicably single out miniature golf courses. At least half of the holes have to be handicapped accessible, and the slopes have to meet certain guidelines to prevent gimps from rolling downhill into one of those treacherous windmills or water hazards.

The best of all has to be the requirement for wheelchair access at recreational pools. Implementation of that rule has understandably been pushed back to next year because no one knows how in the hell to do it. Are you supposed to build a ramp into the pool so they can drive in?

If I didn’t know better, I’d almost think someone snuck in that provision as a way to thin the herd a bit.

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