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North Korea is like a deformed dwarf with a drinking problem and a chip on its shoulder. It fails miserably at everything it tries, but it keeps getting up, wiping off the dust and failing right over again.

Their socialist ideology is a joke, about five percent of their population actually starved to death in the 90s, and the current population gets so little food, they’re becoming a race of midgets. I’m serious about that. Eighteen-year-old males are now 5 inches shorter than their South Korean counterparts, and that’s pretty impressive considering the South Koreans aren’t exactly giants.

This country is the penultimate example of why democracy and capitalism are superior. In those systems if one party fails long enough, someone else gets elected and tries something new. We might have our faults, but I don’t see 30% of our population eating grass.

Instead of focusing on its agricultural sector, non-existent infrastructure or primitive public health system, North Korea just tried to launch a satellite into orbit with predictably hilarious results. It broke up shortly after takeoff and is now at the bottom of the Yellow Sea.

For sake of comparison, capitalist South Korea now has the world’s 15th economy when ranked by GDP and has to give aid to its retarded brother to the north.

The next time you hear some dumbass touting the benefits of socialism, draw a picture of North Korea on your fist and punch them in the face with it. And don’t worry if you hurt them; it’s about time something got through their thick skulls.