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DivinylsA few weeks ago, Chrissy Amphlett, the lead singer of the Australian rock band Divinyls passed away, and I have to say, I was a little sad.

If you’re a man who was between 12 and 35 in 1991, you have fond memories of the video for their hit “I Touch Myself,” and if you’re like me, you probably rubbed one out in Chrissy’s memory.

There was no Internet in 1991, and we couldn’t just punch a few buttons on a keyboard and jack it to anything. It was a cold dark time when you were at the mercy of whatever you could get.

And as a high schooler in 1991, we got Chrissy Amphlett and her giant, juicy rack singing about rubbing her clam. In the video her face was strangely blurred, but it didn’t matter. Her jugs were the star of the show, and those DDs were ready for the big time.

It’s strange to think about how it was back then. Pausing a VHS tape for the perfect frame of Phoebe Cates in Fast Times. Trekking through the woods with a friend looking for a supposed discarded porno behind the back of a 7-11.

You kids don’t even know how good you have it, but with all things, our bounty is a double-edged sword. We all used to be happy with hot blondes and perfect bods, but that’s old news. I watched a midget blow a horse on my phone during church last Sunday, and it just felt routine.