Way to go government. You may not be able to fix the economy, win a war or control our borders, but surely you can succeed in your witch-hunt against Roger Clemens. After all, you probably learned so much from your mistakes when you tried him the last time and ended up with a mistrial. This time will definitely be different.
Yup. Pretty different. You failed utterly and completely and jurors found him not guilty of all six counts of perjury, false statements and obstruction of Congress. The best part is that thanks to double jeopardy, you can finally move on and stop wasting millions of dollars on this bullshit case.
The government has dedicated a team of lawyers to this fiasco, and they’ve spent years on a failed prosecution of this guy. They’ve justified this huge waste of money and time by claiming the very integrity of Congress was at stake, and the institution of government would not tolerate someone telling it lies.
Are you kidding me? Politicians lie to me all the time. They justify wars with manufactured evidence and use insider information to get rich while our economy crumbles. Each party deliberately misrepresents evidence to advance their agenda, and you want me to care that some pumpkin-headed ex-jock violated the integrity of your corrupt cartel.
I assume you’re guilty Clemens, but I’m glad you won. I hope you run for Congress in the next election, document the rampant lies and fraud and demand DOJ prosecute the politicians. It would be good payback.
In July of 2008, Tim McLean was on a Greyhound bus returning to his home in Manitoba, Canada. While he was sleeping another passenger on the bus, Vince Weiguang Li, produced a large “Rambo-style” knife and started stabbing him in the neck and chest. The rest of the bus passengers fled at this point, and they watched through the windows in horror as Mr. Li hacked up the corpse.
He eventually cut Mr. McLean’s head clean off and taunted the other passengers with it. He then ate Mr. McLean’s eyes and part of his heart, and put other parts of the body in plastic bags that he scattered around the bus. When the Mounties finally subdued him, they also found Mr. McLean’s ear, tongue and nose in his pocket.
You’d think the 35 witnesses and bags and pockets full of flesh would have been enough to guarantee a murder conviction, but this is Canada after all. Mr. Li was found not criminally responsible at trial and sent to a mental institution until it was determined he was no longer a threat to himself or others.
Mr. Li has since explained that he thought Mr. McLean was an alien, and he had to kill him to prevent an alien attack. I’m guessing the mental institution decided to show their appreciation for thwarting this alien invasion because according to the National Post, he’s now being allowed to have supervised visits to the neighboring town of Selkirk.
I wonder if the residents of Selkirk still want to mock America’s crazy gun laws. I currently have a pistol in each pocket, and I feel pretty darn safe. Unless they changed the law, the Canadians can’t even carry mace. On the plus side, it’s not like Mr. Li can eat all of you. Most of the sheep always get away.