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Tag Archives: lesbians

Non-Lesbian Buys Subaru Forester

05 Wednesday Mar 2014

Posted by mcodajoy in Humor

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lesbians, Subaru Forester

subaru In the greatest automotive shock since Henry Ford perfected mass production, it was reported last week that a heterosexual man in Fredericksburg, Virginia bought a Subaru Forester for himself.

Lead salesperson Marc Bishop explains. “We saw this breeder walk in, and when he asked about the Forester, we figured he was looking for something for his lesbian daughter. I did think it was a bit odd that he asked me it was a good car ‘to pick up chicks,’ but I just assumed he was comfortable with her lifestyle and he wanted her to be happy.”

When the customer asked if the vehicle was “hip” and if it “was something a soccer mom would like” a light went off in Mr. Bishop’s brain.

“Holy shit. This guy isn’t buying it for his lesbo kid. He’s having a mid-life crisis, and he’s buying it for himself.”

At this point Mr. Bishop decided this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, and he had to have some fun with it.

“I remember him laughing when I told him only a can of tuna would attract more pussy than this hot little number. And for a second I did think I went too far when I offered to throw in both the upgraded speaker package and the complete Melissa Etheridge box set, but he didn’t even miss a beat.”

The unidentified man reportedly paid the full MSRP because he was “in a hurry to hit the town,” but he did happily wait as the staff put the customary rainbow sticker on the bumper because like he said, “women love rainbows.”

The Gay Gene

29 Tuesday May 2012

Posted by Codajoy in Humor

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concentration camp, electric fence, gay gene, gay marriage, gays, lesbians, North Carolina, pastor Charles Worley

Guess which kid in the picture got it?

If those kids are brothers, and I hope they are, that had to be one goddamned interesting house. You have an over-the-top flamer, a stone-faced military type who seems to naturally assume a parade rest posture, and I don’t even know what the hell is up with the kid on the left. He looks like he’s smiling because he knows what he’s going to do to you, and the results aren’t going to be pretty.

I’m fairly certain this picture settles once and for all whether homosexuality is a choice. There’s obviously a gay gene, and that kid in the middle can thank his mom and dad both for his brown eyes, and his love of little brown eyes.

Another person who agrees with the genetic root of homosexuality is Pastor Charles Worley. In this video, he calls for gays to be fenced into concentration camps, but I have a hunch that’s not going to be quite the punishment he envisions.

He should really teach them a lesson and pump in some techno and airdrop in some Ecstasy. That’ll learn ’em not to be born gay.

Since this video got enough hits on youtube, liberals knew it was an issue worth protesting, and according to Reuters, about a thousand of them turned out Sunday to picket Pastor Worley’s church. Some even dressed up in rainbow-colored outfits to let everyone know just how tolerant they are.

Unfortunately, their protest was cut short when a video against whaling got even more hits, and they had to make new signs, get into their Prius hybrids and drive to the coast to protest the new cause-du-jour.

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