Nyet Four adults and two children were injured in the first documented drone attack in the U.S. The victims are all expected to make a full recovery after being injured while attending a festival at Portland Oregon’s Pioneer Courthouse Square.

The Federal Aviation Administration, local law enforcement and the Federal Bureau of Investigation have not released any preliminary findings from their investigation, but an anonymous source has provided a clear picture of the attack.

It appears an individual purchased a quadcopter drone from an Internet retailer and modified it by removing parts of the structure and outer housing. He then attached a crude pipe bomb that was detonated as the craft flew above the crowd at the Square.

It is suspected the bomber flew the craft from either Jackson Tower or Fox Tower, but witness testimony has provided conflicting reports on the craft’s flight path and angle of attack.

Luckily, the person flying the drone detonated the explosive device prematurely, and much of the shrapnel was directed up and away from the crowd. Otherwise, the casualties would have been far more severe.

As mandated by President Clinton and the U.S. Ministry of Truth and Social Justice, all residents are reminded that any attempt to assign blame of this tragedy to any protected group or class will result in a mandatory prison sentence of twenty-five years.