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This is a guest post by Queefer Sutherland.

I don’t own cats, but I don’t hate them either. If they decide to rub up against me, I just grind them right back until they get uncomfortable and decide to leave.

The one thing I don’t like about cats is their litter box. I have a sense of smell like a bloodhound, and if there is a litter box in a house, I can usually smell it the second I walk in the door. I realize kitty litter companies want to convince you that their brands totally hide the smell, but they don’t.

One of my old roommates had a cat, and he kept its litter box in the downstairs bathroom. Every time I took a piss, I had to smell that heady mix of cat shit and whatever chemicals they sprayed on the litter to help mask the smell.

One evening after a few drinks I decided it would be funny to shit in the cat’s litter box, and then my roommate and I would have a good laugh when he emptied it and saw it. The odd thing was that he never mentioned it. I did it on three different occasions but not once did he call me on it.

I ran into him a few months ago, and I finally asked him about it. He seemed shocked that it was me, and he thought the cat was just having a reaction to something it ate.

Now you know. If you find a human-sized turd in your cat’s litter box, one of your friends probably shit in it.