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WALLPAPER - CHUCK NORRIS Michael Bang Petersen of Aarhus University in Denmark, and Daniel Sznycer of the University of California, recently conducted a study that showed that men’s upper body strength was a strong predictor of their support for the welfare state and wealth redistribution.

Their research found that strong men with extra cash tended to be staunchly opposed to wealth redistribution while weaker men who were similarly wealthy strongly favored it.

Professor Petersen speculates that this goes back to our earliest ancestors. To paraphrase his findings, men who are weak and limp wristed now were descended from a long line of mincing pussies, and this has shaped their current political beliefs.

Professor Petersen added: “Our results demonstrate that physically weak males are more reluctant than physically strong males to assert their self-interest,” and this shouldn’t really surprise anyone.

But, I’m an optimist, so I have to believe there’s hope. If you’re infected by this liberal disease, it’s not too late for you to do something about it. All you really need to do is start making more testosterone.

You need to eat meat, lift weights, and commit, and I mean commit, to looking at a minimum of one hour of heterosexual porn a day. You follow this simple regimen and we’ll beat this thing together.

Did that come out right?