hitlerpets I do not understand the AKC and the various Cat Councils. They actively encourage breeders to carry out generation after generation of inbreeding to create the perfect dog and cat breeds, but when hardworking men and women develop a master race of HitlerPets®, they refuse to recognize them.

You see that bad-assed cat up there? He doesn’t just sit on his ass like some lazy Bolshevik eating your food and shitting in a box in your bathroom.

He hates lesser life forms with such a passion that he spends every waking minute ridding the neighborhood of undesirable animals like mice, chipmunks, squirrels and Jews.

Ditto with that little puppy. I’m Polish and Slovak and that magnificent bastard goes into a frothing frenzy if I get within 10 feet of him. And it’s not like I’ve told him my ethnicity. He just somehow magically knows.

And God help the Puerto Rican mailman.

HitlerPets® are amazing animals, and you commie liberals at the American Kennel Club need to get on board. You recognize bullshit breeds like bulldogs that are prone to various cancers as well as organ, joint and bone problems. And bulldogs are so screwed up they can’t even be born naturally. They have to be delivered by caesarian section.

Aside from drug abuse problems and the occasional homosexual dalliance, HitlerPets® are the damned picture of health and you fools better recognize.