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When I’m randomly flipping through the Bible trying to find lottery numbers, I’ll periodically see a section or phrase that catches my eye. One of the funniest has to be in the book of Luke. One of the guys blindfolds Jesus, hits him, and then says, “Prophesize, who hit you.”

Say what you will, but that was some Hebrew hilarity.

Today I saw a line from Revelations I’ve always liked. “So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.” I fully accept that I’m a shoddy, lukewarm Christian. I hate helping people, I’m prejudiced against all races, and I once stepped in dog shit and wiped my shoe off on a homeless guy who was passed out drunk in my apartment’s doorway. If by some miracle there’s a heaven, I won’t hold my breath that I’m getting in.

Even though it’s not really my thing, I still appreciate religious passion when I see it. I’m not talking about assholes committing genocide, carrying out suicide bombings or giving pointless sermons. I’m referring to personal expressions of crazy piety. One guy who practically embodies what I’m talking about is Ruben Enaje.

Ruben is a painter in the Philippines, and 26 years ago he survived a fall from a building. Every Good Friday since he has had himself nailed through the hands and feet to a giant cross as a sign of devotion and thanks to God. Ruben may very well be insane, but no one is going to accuse him of being lukewarm.

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