There is a small subset of the population that prides themselves on getting offended or angered by everything. They take great pleasure in making people around them walk on eggshells, and if they hear anything that offends their delicate sensibilities, they’re sure to let everyone know about it.

As a general rule, I don’t get along well with these people.

I know one particularly annoying cunt, let’s call her Sara, and Sara sucks. Oh God does Sara suck. I don’t believe in hitting women in a non-BDSM setting, but I would happily drop-kick this bitch into next Tuesday. And I mean that literally.

I would kick her so hard the actual fabric of time would rip and transport her a week into the future.

I understand it’s probably a good thing to get offended in some circumstances, but I wish people had a finite capacity for it. Much like how a woman is born with all of the eggs she will ever produce, you should have a limited amount of righteous indignation.

Use it sparingly because once it’s gone, you can’t make anymore.

As people live their lives, they would have to make careful decisions about how and when they’d throw their little bitch fits. Do you want to stomp your feet because those stupid Republicans don’t agree with your stance on gun control? That’s fine, but you may not have enough left to lecture me how I was wrong to try to get that homeless guy to eat out of my hand.