Tags

, , , , , ,

FDRandStalin I’m a little late to the party on this, but according to a story published a few weeks ago in The Post, rich Manhattan moms have been renting gimps from a company called Dream Tours so they can skip the long lines at Disney World.

According to the story, Disney allows each guest on a motorized scooter or wheelchair to bring up to six guests to a more convenient entrance. You’re then allowed to immediately board the ride ahead of everyone else.

The only drawback here is that this service isn’t cheap. Handicapped guides cost $130 an hour, and that works out to over a thousand bucks over an eight-hour day. However, if you want a cheaper option, I guess you can just pretend you’re a cripple and rent a scooter at the park for $50 a day.

Hell, I might even get the whole family in on it. It will be like that old episode of Seinfeld where Kramer and his midget friend took a job acting out diseases for medical students. I’d put a bunch of medical conditions in a jar, and if it was your day, you’d have to reach in and pick one.

I could actually see my psychotic daughter nailing this, and I would love to see the look on the Disney employees’ faces while a four-year-old calmly and methodically explained how she took a bullet in the back in Nam and is now stuck on this goddamned Gook scooter.

Share