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screw-magazineI never really had heroes growing up, but one man I respected was Screw Magazine publisher and self-described “angry Jew,” Al Goldstein. Regardless of your feelings about pornography, how can you not like a guy who put an 11-foot-tall middle finger in the yard of his mansion just to be a dick?

I first discovered Screw when was a kid in the 80s, and a friend and I broke into an abandoned trailer that was down the road from my house. We didn’t find any gold or gems, but we did discover a treasure infinitely more valuable, the mother lode of porn.

There were two large, sticky cardboard boxes filled with nothing but old copies of Hustler and Screw magazines, and that day more than any other probably shaped me into the man I would become.

Al Goldstein and Hustler publisher Larry Flynt were self-motivated but still tireless defenders of free speech, and Goldstein alone was arrested 19 times on obscenity charges. He also spent millions of dollars on First Amendment lawsuits.

Truthfully, the porn was probably secondary for Goldstein. In a lot of ways he was just a bullied loser riddled with neuroses, and his magazine and “Midnight Blue” talk show were the vehicles that allowed him to do what he really loved – launch vicious personal attacks to get revenge against anyone and everyone he felt had wronged him.

One great example was when his son Jordan told him he couldn’t go to his Harvard Law School graduation, and Al Goldstein responded by publishing doctored photos of his son having sex with men and even his own mother to get back at him.

It’s almost a shame Jews have to go to hell for killing Jesus because Al Goldstein would make an excellent Patron Saint of bloggers.