Step We live in a society where power-mad politicians regulate every facet of our lives, but they can’t spend an afternoon crafting legislation to address public bathrooms.

Don’t get me wrong, I could care less about handicapped stalls, low-flow toilets or hot-air hand dryers. I just want a requirement that all public restrooms be fitted with a device that allows me to enter and exit without touching the shit-encrusted door handle.

Here’s a simple fix. For all newly constructed bathrooms, suggest that the goddamned doors open outward. That way, after I wash my hands, I can push the door open with my foot.

If having the door open outward isn’t feasible, or you already have a bathroom with the doors opening inward, just buy a device called a StepNpull.

These little wonders are made of aluminum, available in a number of colors, and you can get them at Lowe’s for about $30. They screw onto the bottom of the public restroom door, and they have a little gripping surface that allows you to easily open the door with your shoe so you don’t have to use your hands.

With them installed you can finally enjoy your next restaurant meal. Aside from the fact that it was prepared by a teenager who takes turns digging up his nose and scratching his ass with the spatula.