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Nothing stings quite like calling someone a retard. That six-letter bomb is the perfect stand-alone weapon, and it’s always hurtful/funny. And, I’m not really sure why it’s offensive. I understand why we can’t use ethnic slurs. The liberal media will verbally attack you, and ethnic people are dangerous, and they may physically attack you.

Is there some powerful retard lobby I don’t know about? Are there high ranking retarded people who will muster their considerable assets to stamp out this word?

No, there isn’t. Their stubby little fingers are wrapped securely around their juice boxes, not grasping the reins of power.

I am taking this word back. I don’t mean I intend some Lenny Bruce-esque attempt to rob this word of its power. I mean I intend to use it in casual conversation, regardless of the situation.

What are you retards going to do about it? You gonna write a letter to your congressman? Crayons don’t have erasers. You’re going to have do it right, the first time.