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Police in Lancashire, England recently received several reports of a man walking through town carrying a samurai sword. The description wasn’t all that clear, but the offender shouldn’t have been all that hard to find, right?

It’s not like this is the Renaissance, and chances are there aren’t many guys walking down the street with a goddamned sword.

Well, not so fast. It seems cops across the pond are no smarter than they are here, and the responding officer mistook a blind senior citizen, Colin Farmer, for the sword-wielding madman. After-all, his white plastic cane looked exactly like a hardened steel samurai sword. In fact, I’m surprised they don’t just use them in kung fu movies to cut down on costs.

Once the culprit was spotted, the cop’s training kicked in. He ran at the old man, grabbed him without identifying himself and tried to wrestle him to the ground.

Predictably, the blind old man thought he was being mugged and resisted, and the brave Bobby then dropped a little British justice on his geezer ass in the form of a 50,000 volt shock from his taser.

Mr. Farmer stated he has suffered from multiple strokes, and he thought for sure the taser was going to trigger another one. Luckily, it didn’t, but Mr. Farmer stated he is suffering psychological trauma from the episode and is now afraid to go outside alone.

The police department has since issued an apology, but how in the hell was this mistake made? At some point you have to connect the dots, right? The white cane. The dark sunglasses. The fact that the guy was shouting “I’m blind! I’m blind!” while you’re tackling him. Those are all pretty good clues that he probably wasn’t much of a threat.

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