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Skank – The Other White Meat

I imagine nearly all of the members of PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) are women, and since most women are irrational and insane, PETA is usually irrational and insane.

However, in this one isolated instance, they’re actually less crazy than someone, and that someone is the San Francisco city government.

The city has unveiled a new program called WOOF (Wonderful Opportunities For Occupants and Fidos), and the plan is to pay homeless people to mentor shelter dogs. Homeless people currently living in shelters will be given $75 a week to stop panhandling and “foster problem puppies” until they’re ready for adoption.

To its credit, PETA realizes this program is moronic and has offered to give the city the $10,000 cost of the WOOF grant if they’ll drop the whole dumb idea.  Predictably, city officials declined and accused PETA of lacking compassion and humanity for the filthy, mentally deranged bums who will be incapable of providing care for these animals.

I never thought I’d side with PETA, but how does this program seem like a good idea?

You have three main priorities in life, food, shelter and water, and homeless people have dropped the ball on all three of them. They live on the street, eat out of dumpsters and when cheap liquor is unavailable, drink from mud puddles. Dogs already know how to do those things, and I don’t think “mentoring” from a transient is going to teach them any new tricks.