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Every state except that weird one shaped like a saucepan just reached a deal with the five biggest mortgage service companies over “faulty foreclosure practices.” The banks agreed to reduce the principals of loans of borrowers who owe more than their houses are worth and to give checks to the deadbeats they foreclosed on. Some Democrats have said that’s not enough, and the banks need to be further punished for “predatory loan practices.”

When did we as adults stop being responsible for our own actions? I bought a house in 2004, and when I sold it five years later I took a $35,000 loss. Why? I signed a goddamn contract agreeing that if the bank lent me a sum of money, I would pay back that money in monthly installments, with interest. It’s what big boys do. You make a deal and you honor the terms of that deal. Nobody cheated me, and there was no fraud. The housing bubble unfortunately burst because prices ran up too quickly and I lost a lot of money.

I think we need actual predatory practices to show people what that term really means. By that I mean we should release giant predators in cities and towns and let them eat our stupidest and slowest citizens. Either that or we bring back the pillory. If you welch on a debt, we put your head and arms through the wooden contraption and let people passing by throw stuff at you. I’m fine with either option.

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