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cobra-kai Elizabeth Boyd, the former principal of the Sunbright Elementary School in Morgan County Tennessee, is being sued for $1.7 million by the parents of a student Mrs. Boyd paddled last year.

The parents had given permission for the school to spank their kid, but they now contend he wasn’t spanked, he was beaten, and the trauma from the little bruise on his bottom has left him unable to return to school, and he’s now being home-schooled by his mongoloid parents.

Let me see if I’ve got this straight. This kid was allegedly paddled eight times, and you expect me to believe he suffered permanent damage?

I would conservatively estimate I was paddled about 38,000 times when I was in school, and I took my punishment like a man. The only lingering effects were my permanently flat ass and my hatred of authority.

I personally don’t spank my kids, but that’s because I don’t have to. I’m lucky in that they’re both pretty close in age, so I can always use one to hit the other. And now that my movie quality Cobra Kai costume finally arrived from 80stees.com, I can really enjoy it.

Sure $140 plus shipping was a lot to spend for an outfit, but when I put that thing on and order one of my kids to sweep the legs, I know it was money well spent.