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A few months ago Obama caught some heat for saying the private sector is doing fine when it has been battered by sustained job losses, declining wages and decreases in benefits. In actuality, aside from the richest 1% the only people who are really doing well in this economy are federal employees.

It blows my mind that one in five federal government workers makes over a hundred grand a year. I was a government contractor for years, and my contract manager at the General Services Administration was mildly retarded. For fun I used to call people into my office just to listen to her.

She was probably pulling down six figures, and twice she put her phone on speaker to look for something and then promptly forgot all about me. Both times I got to listen to her sing and mumble to herself for about 15 minutes before I had to go.

Just the other day I was almost thrown off a job by an OSHA inspector. I was working in the middle of a field, and he wanted to know why I wasn’t wearing a hard hat. I then explained that the only thing over my head was the sky, and aside from a meteor or bird shit, there wasn’t much danger of anything falling on my head.

He furrowed his brow and gave me the same confused look the dog gives when he catches me jerking off, so I just put on the damn hat and he went away.

That is your typical government employee, and there is no reason to overpay any of them. I promise that you could cut government salaries in half tomorrow, and you’d still be able to attract the same level of fuck-ups we have now.