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Twice in December my computer got a virus from a midget porn site. Luckily, I have a dedicated porn rig, so my important files weren’t affected, but it’s still frustrating. In both cases it took me an hour-and-a-half to fix the problem, and I would have preferred to spend that time doing something productive like playing Skyrim or looking at other midget porn.

As I was wrapping up the second restore, I realized how spoiled I’ve become. In the bad old days, if I wanted to look at midget porn I would have had to drive to that disgusting porn store in Woodbridge, Va and make strained small-talk with the creepy owner.

I honestly believe that guy only started the store as a way to discuss topics with other people that would get him arrested anywhere outside of his store.

Now, the whole porn world is at my fingertips, and aside from a few viruses, it’s free and easy to use. You literally can find anything you want. “I just typed in “turtles having sex” and I got a video of turtles doing it. Now, I’m going to go finish that video.

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