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BoomThe New Jersey State Interscholastic Athletic Association and the state Attorney General’s Office announced last week that high school athletes could be penalized if they make “harassing statements related to gender, race, ethnicity, disability, sexual orientation or religion.”

In addition to in-game punishment, referees are also supposed to report the behavior so kids can be further investigated by some Gestapo bureaucrat for their alleged thought crimes.

This is such fucking nonsense, and I still remember fondly the time my high school played a team from the mountains, and I was matched up against this massive 300-pound hillbilly. I had no desire to go head-to-head with this giant mongoloid, so I started pissing him off.

At first he kept his cool, but if you push buttons long enough you’ll eventually find the magic combination to make someone lose their shit, and if memory serves his breaking point was “Hey hillbilly. Can I fuck your mother after you’re done with her?”

He flipped out, shoved me and got tossed from the game. He was then replaced with a smaller, more manageable bumpkin, and I no longer needed to talk shit. I still did, but I didn’t need to.

People pretend like athletics are supposed to build character and teach life lessons, but that’s ridiculous. You play for one reason, and that’s to crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.