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NBC, the primary American broadcaster of the 2014 Winter Olympics, has pledged that during their coverage of the games, they will not ignore Russia’s new law which bans the distribution of information about homosexuality to children.

Instead, NBC vows “to ram our opposition to the law down your stupid peasant throats until you all have lost your gag reflex and just swallow it already.”

I love propaganda as much as the next guy, but what happened to just watching sports without some jackass using it as a bully pulpit to preach their views? I’m looking at you Bob Costas.

I noticed that NBC didn’t have any problem ignoring China’s abysmal human rights record during the Beijing Olympics. Ditto for Vancouver when they conveniently ignored the fact that Canada isn’t a real country but a geographic abomination spawned from a one-night stand between America and Greenland.

I don’t believe in any laws affecting matters of personal conscience, but I like the Russian law. In fact, I would even expand it to include heterosexuals and broaden it to ban all discussions of your sex life.

I don’t want to hear about the skank you picked up last week, or the burning sensation you now feel every time you pee. In return, you won’t be subjected to tales of my indifferent and fumbling attempts to please my wife.

I guess the only exception will be for stories about really crazy shit, but it’s got to be special to raise my interest. I’m talking about something like combining archery with sodomy and using an over-sized cross-bow to launch yourself into strange men’s asses.

If it’s not something like that, keep it to yourself.