Over 500 people are attacked by lions every year, and the majority of them are zookeepers or hapless African villagers still struggling to make it near the top of the food chain.
Now you can add Renae Ferguson to that esteemed list of victims because last week she decided to ignore the signs and enter a secured area at the Sunrise Side Exotics and Nature Trail in East Tawas, Michigan and pet a lion.
Predictably, the lion did what lions do when confronted with fresh meat and it bit off the tip of this dumb bitch’s finger.
Ms. Ferguson is now planning to sue because the zoo did not adequately protect her from her own stupidity and it failed to prevent her from doing what a goddamned child should know better than to try.
No doubt the zoo will come to a settlement with this half-wit, but instead of trying to child-proof the planet maybe we should consider going in the opposite direction.
I think it’s high time we gave natural selection a fighting chance and allowed it to weed out a few of our dumber, slower people.
This lion cage is a case in point. Instead of making the holes in it smaller, let’s make them bigger so maybe next time Renae will stick her whole head through instead of just her hand.
And don’t even get me started about feeding the homeless. It’s supposed to be survival of the fittest, and if they’re too lazy to fight the seagulls at the dump for a meal, I think we should just let nature take its course.