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 I’m a little disgruntled that most of the people they profile on this show are only a little crazy. I know there are thousands of wild-eyed lunatics out there preparing for the end of the world, and I want to see more of them. Just once I would like someone to stare into the camera and without a hint of irony say, “I plan to leave this world just like I entered it, screaming at the top of my lungs and covered in blood.”

This week’s episode featured a guy in Idaho who seems to be making a good living selling seeds to other preppers, an old lady in Montana hoarding food in her home and an even older guy in Colorado who may have the distinction of having made the world’s shittiest panic room. Seriously, if the door to that room could withstand a gentle nudge or a stiff breeze, I’d be amazed.

I know at least a half dozen people who would be perfect for that show. One is a guy who calls himself Ace I met at the gun range. There was something off about the guy, and his brother later informed me Ace was kicked out of the South African army during Apartheid for being too violent.

Try to let that sink in for a second. This was the same army that used to pull trucks full of soldiers into black areas, and once people started throwing stones would drop the sides and open fire on them with automatic weapons. I’m not sure what you have to do to be considered too violent for a force like that, but I think it’s safe to say I probably don’t want to know.

Last I heard of Ace, he was trying to build low cost drones for civilian use. National Geographic should track him down and just let the cameras roll. When the guy gets going, he sounds like a cross between Charles Manson and Colonel Kurtz. I will always remember his best quote. “I know for a fact Superman doesn’t live in South Africa. No one there was faster than a speeding bullet.”

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