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By most accounts Moldova is a dump. It’s located between Ukraine and Romania, and because of its location has been invaded more times than France. It was formerly part of the U.S.S.R and about a decade after communism fell, these geniuses decided to vote the communists back into power. Not surprisingly, the economy promptly tanked and by 2009 it was the poorest country in Europe when ranked by GDP.

The news for Moldova isn’t all bad. The climate is mild, the country makes decent wines and the population consumes the highest amount of alcohol per capita in the world. You won’t find this in their tourist brochures, but there has also been a boom of European and American perverts who go there to molest children.

The Moldovans finally decided their children are not a resource to be stripped and mined and passed a new law that mandates chemical castration for any foreigners convicted of coming there and molesting children. They now join the Czech Republic and Poland which chemically castrate both pedophiles and rapists.

Here’s the problem. Chemical castration is not really castration at all. You’re just giving someone drugs to curb their libido, and if the injections aren’t monitored and continued, they wear off.

Is there some powerful rapist and pedophile lobby that’s preventing actual castration? I can remember my uncle castrating hogs as a kid, and it wasn’t that complicated. All you need is a razor blade and some disinfecting spray, and I’m sure they already have plenty of both of those in prison. The ancient Koreans actually castrated slaves by having dogs bite of their privates, so that’s also an option.