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lazy In the first smart move Yahoo has made since the late 90s, the company’s new Chief Executive, Marissa Mayer, banned telecommuting after she discovered that employees were shockingly not doing as much work from home as they would at the office.

Of course Mrs. Mayer’s completely logical and rational decision touched off a “firestorm” within the liberal media which has latched onto the idea of an entitlement culture so vigorously that even basic common sense is viewed as an attack on their socialist agenda.

In a surprise move, NYC Mayor Bloomberg took a break from tormenting fat people about their meal choices to weigh in on the situation. During a recent radio interview he commented that telecommuting was one of the dumbest ideas he’s ever heard, and for once, I agree with him.

On days I work from home I have the house to myself so in addition to work I tend to focus on other important tasks like watching granny porn and catching up on Game of Thrones episodes. Those episodes then inevitably lead to midget porn, which leads to fat girls, which leads to a nap.

In total I probably do about four hours of real work in a day, and I’m reasonably motivated.

Our Czar of entitlement, President Obama, is now suggesting our overpaid federal workers be allowed to telecommute, and if you think they’re lazy and worthless now, just try getting them to do anything without a manager looking over their shoulder. I doubt they do four hours of work when they actually show up to the office. Their telecommuting work ethic would make me look like a goddamned Chinaman.