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Screenwriter Ted Shuttleworth was a former writer for the show NYPD Blue and before Saturday, that was his biggest claim to fame. Now he’s better known for facing up to a year in prison for punching his poodle so hard it died.

Ted allegedly punched the dog in the head and then took it to the vet. Some little tattle-tale at the office determined the death was suspicious, called the ASPCA, and they conducted an autopsy which determined the mutt “sustained a traumatic brain injury . . . at the hands of her owner.”

It’s obvious to me that Ted is new to being abusive or he’d know that you never, ever take a spouse, child or pet to seek medical attention after hitting them. He should have just found a big shoe box, put the dog in it and buried it out back like a normal human being. Unfortunately for him, he has a conscience, and that’s going to cost him.

Like I’ve said for years, doing the right thing is always the wrong thing. It doesn’t matter if you forgot to pay for something or accidentally ran over a hitchhiker with your car. If no one saw you do it, it’s just between you and God, and as far as I can tell, God doesn’t testify in court.

If convicted Ted will probably have plenty of time to reflect on his mistake as he’s being anally violated in one of New York’s fine prisons.