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She Is Clearly Innocent

She Is Clearly Innocent

Well, if you’re an overweight woman about to stand trial, you might want to put down that bucket of chicken and get your pudgy ass on a treadmill if you value your freedom.

According to a recent Yale University study, male jurors were more likely to find fat women guilty than thin women. And, the thinner the male juror, the more likely he was to assume a fat chick was a repeat offender and more deserving of a harsh sentence.

Amazingly, prospective female jurors showed no fat bias, and neither men nor women seemed to have a bias against fat men. Only fat women were targeted, and I for one applaud that. As I’ve said for years, men should not be judged on their looks, but solely on their manly virtues. For example, can they skin a buck, run a trout line or hold their liquor.

Women on the other hand should be held to impossibly high standards of fitness and beauty and berated whenever they fall short of those unreachable goals. And it’s not just me saying this, it’s science, too.

According to yet another study, men who date women with slim waists are less likely to have performance issues in the bedroom. Scottish researchers found women with slim waists had more satisfied partners who were also less prone to erectile dysfunction.

In a less happy note, the study also found that the larger a man’s waist size, the lower his sexual satisfaction. But, I’d guess that’s because he was more likely to have to bang fat chicks, so it’s still their fault.