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In a last gasp for attention, the Occupy movement declared the beginning of May to be the date of the first general strike in America’s history. People were encouraged to take to the streets and to refuse to go to work or school and not to conduct any kind of business.

Not surprisingly the calls for a strike were ignored, and the whole planned protest was a colossal failure. Aside from union members protesting after work, and the occasional moron breaking a store window, virtually no one showed up at all. It seems that many people considered turning out, but light rain all across the east coast quickly changed their minds.

John Whitborn, a committed “Occupy activist,” responded on why he didn’t attend. “I had just put on my new Columbia windbreaker and Minnetonka moccasins, and I was all set to go out there and show those Wall Street fat cats who’s boss. Then I got a weather alert on my new iPad calling for intermittent showers, and I really didn’t want to get all wet. Plus, my mom was making Couscous for lunch.”

Some have said the weather was only a partial factor and instead attributed the low turnout to a surprising revival of common sense among those inclined to protest.

Rick Shelton, a former Occupy protestor, summed it up. “It seems we finally realized that large herds of losers standing in groups and yelling about concepts we don’t understand may not be the most effective way to improve our economy.”