Senator Elizabeth Warren is a pile of shit. How do I know? Because the Bible tells me so. Or at least it did.

For most of us Google is the new Bible and replaced the old Good Book because it not only answers life’s most pressing questions but also provides tons and tons of free porn links, which frankly, the old Hebrew tome just couldn’t provide.

Google also has a nice little auto-complete function that allows busy perverts like me to shortcut to common search entries without all that extra typing.

For example, if I type in “how do I know if,” in the search block, I guarantee one of the top four entries will be “if I have herpes” because people love getting herpes.

In the past if you typed in “Elizabeth Warren” it kindly auto-completed with “Native American” so you could learn all about her shameful past of pretending to be a Native American so she could get a preferential minority hiring preference.

Or at least one better than she got for being a woman.

I’m not some whiny left-wing racial apologist, but American Indians aren’t just the country’s poorest minority; they have the lowest life expectancy of any group in the country. And while I don’t support Affirmative Action for any other race or gender, I feel like they’ve earned at least a bit of a break.

Maybe if Hillary Clinton picks Warren as VP, she’ll dress up in black-face and claim some long-lost African heritage, too. Actually, that would be hilarious, and I’d probably vote for her if she does that.