dozer It’s a tough job market, and unless you’re a U.S. government employee who’s paid a fortune to do nothing all day, you’re probably looking for something better.

You can watch all the interviewing videos and read all the self-help books in the world, but the truth is if you don’t have the qualifications for the job, you’re not going to be hired.

That’s why you absolutely, positively have to lie on your resume and during your interview. Nobody really investigates your credentials so fabricate them to match the job at hand.

By following this strategy I was hired as a heavy equipment operator, and I’ve never ridden anything bigger than a fat chick. And don’t think I was immediately fired because I wasn’t.

Once I finally figured out how to get it started it turns out running a bulldozer is surprisingly easy, and you’ll find that most jobs are fairly easy to pick up. Plus, with the Internet never more than a click away from your smart-phone, you’ll always have a team of experts on hand if things get too complicated.

For example, am I worried that I’m supposed to install a road culvert tomorrow when I’m still not 100% sure what in the hell a culvert is? No. I’ll research it tonight on Google, have a few drinks in the morning to steady my nerves, and things will work out.