Earlier this week, Kraft Foods posted a picture of a gay-friendly Oreo cookie on their Facebook page. The cookie featured rainbow-colored filling and the word “pride” underneath, in a bold nod to the company’s newfound support of gay
Predictably, idiots have come out both in support and opposition to the pretend cookie, but no one seems to be focusing on the real issue here. Kraft is missing a tremendous opportunity by not actually making a gay-themed cookie. If done correctly, it could easily become the tastiest cookie on the market.
For starters, you would need to do away with that stupid rainbow-colored filling. It just doesn’t look appetizing. Instead, the cookies should be triple-stuffed with white cream and covered in a layer of fudge.
If they wanted to get really fancy, they could even make a tiny core of liquid icing that explodes onto your face as you bite into it, but that might be going too far.
No matter what Kraft decides, I imagine lesbians will complain because the new cookies only cater to gay men. Then again, they can angrily stroke their mullets and bitch all they want because their complaints are baseless. Hot lesbians shouldn’t be eating cookies anyway because I don’t want them to get fat, and as we all know, no one cares what unattractive women think.