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Kardashiansore I’ve never met a stripper or hooker I didn’t like, but I despise Kim Kardashian. I could care less that she’s been on more rappers and athletes than a prison jumpsuit. It’s not that she’s a fame whore. It’s not even that she’s a moron who keeps sharing her personal views like people should care.

When I look into those vacant cow-like eyes, and that even more cow-like ass, I feel visceral contempt. She’s like a pile a dog shit that keeps following me, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t help stepping in it. Aside from becoming Amish, there is just no avoiding this empty-headed fuck puppet.

But every now and again, the media’s round-the-clock Kim coverage does make me smile.

She was in Bahrain and Kuwait last week promoting her milkshake chain, and hardline Islamists protested the fact that such a stupid cunt was allowed there at all. When she returned back home, photographers were waiting for her reaction, and the pictures they took were priceless.

In all of them, perched on her top lip was a huge, weeping cold sore. The woman who is all form and no function failed at her only responsibility – looking doable.

Some people maintain she was caught without makeup, but I say that’s nonsense. She was probably lathering and slathering that runny sore with masking products up until the second she landed, but much like her, it was too large and foul to be hidden.

I can only assume Middle Eastern STDS are different from the usual brand of viruses and parasites that assault her orifices on a daily basis. Eventually, the toxic loads of a thousand different Bedouins overwhelmed her steady diet of Valtrex and Zovirax, and the super herpes that resulted sprouted that bloom on her lip.

I just hope my beloved Washington Redskins make it to the playoffs before this new disease wreaks havoc on professional sports in this country.

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