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If you look up the term “smug little twat” in the dictionary, you see a picture of Keith Olbermann and Jon Stewart slap-fighting for the title. Ultimately though, you have to give the nod to Olbermann. The guy is so insufferable if most people heard he was battling cancer, they would root for the disease.

One of his big complaints about Current TV was his chauffeurs had the audacity to talk to him, and that’s actually hard to believe. Why anyone would speak to that prick is beyond me. The only thing I’d ask him is “Why are you hitting yourself?” as I used his little clenched fist to repeatedly rap him on the forehead.

I’m no lawyer, but I’m pretty sure there’s a law that says if someone throws little temper tantrums and acts like a five-year-old, you’re entitled to give him the big brother treatment without charges being filed.

Everyone knows Current TV is struggling, and they made a big gamble on Olbermann. He reportedly signed a contract worth $50 million, but he couldn’t even be bothered to show up for work. He missed 19 of 41 days in January and February, and since he doesn’t work for the government, that’s enough to get you fired.

I almost wish Al Gore had dressed up as ManBearPig, come into the studio and dropped the hammer on Olbermann during taping. He could have then announced that Olbermann was being replaced “by everyone’s favorite hooker-banging ex-governor, Eliot Spitzer.” Not only would it have gotten about a billion Internet views, it would have gone down as the best termination/show launch in history.

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