But, before they fled, an Armenian gypsy supposedly cursed the clan because she was angry the family patriarch spurned her and chose a more beautiful woman to be his bride.
Supposedly, the gypsy said that all the female children born to the family would be blessed with incredible beauty but cursed with dark eyes and souls that would destroy any man they truly loved.
Luckily, Kim Kardashian is a soulless harpy incapable of loving anyone but herself, so the curse skipped her. But a few of her sisters truly developed feelings for their step-father, Bruce Jenner, and he was nearly destroyed.
Thankfully, he realized the curse had a loophole and only targeted men, so he started dressing like a woman and taking female hormones to keep it at bay.
The other men snared in the Kardashian web haven’t been so lucky. Robert Kardashian, the girls’ father, died of esophageal cancer, Scott Disick, the ex of Kourtney Kardashian is addicted to alcohol, pills and coke and is said to be slowly circling the drain.
And Lamar Odom, the ex of the fat one, I think her name might be Chloe but it’s probably spelled with a K, is clinging to life in a hospital bed after the curse nearly killed him.
It’s rumored that Bruce Jenner warned Lamar and tried to get him to accept a sex change, too, but Lamar decided he would rather go out on his sword. Technically, it was with two prostitutes on his sword, but at least he nearly died doing what he loved – getting super high and banging skanks.