csa As Southern states fall like dominos in their support for the Confederate battle flag, I’m shocked by those few staunch defenders who cling to the flag as a symbol of heritage, not hate.

First off, it’s symbolizes a heritage of hate, and that’s exactly what makes it so bad-assed.

Much like my little swastika-emblazoned teddy, Der Furrbear, that flag represents a time before we became a bunch of mincing pussies that kowtow to every critic and beg and plead for forgiveness for every perceived wrong.

People cry that the flag represents slavery, and I say goddamned right it does. For over two centuries, we caught and bought black people, and those guys are fucking ferocious – but we literally owned them.

If that doesn’t give you an empowerment boner, than you and I are just cut from different cloth.

I view the Confederate battle flag the same way I look at a Roman sword, Mongol bow or sixteenth century Turkish musket. It’s a symbol of a warrior tribe that pound-for-pound, was as good or better than anyone they faced.

That and I really, really want to own a slave.