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In March of 2003 the second Palestinian uprising was in full swing, and the Israeli military was bulldozing homes on the Gaza border it suspected of housing militants or camouflaging smuggling tunnels.

Pro-Palestinian activist Rachel Corrie, and approximately eight other morons, decided they would act as human shields against these demolitions, and on the day she was crushed, she plopped her dumb ass down directly in front of an approaching bulldozer.

Not surprisingly, her flower power was no match for horsepower, and she was promptly and thoroughly squished.

The Israeli army uses a modified Caterpillar D9 bulldozer with 15 tons of added armor to allow them to operate in hostile environments. By most accounts, they don’t have great visibility, but then again, that’s not usually a problem. People tend to have enough sense to get out of the way of something that weighs 69 tons, is as loud as a freight train and has a top speed of about seven miles an hour.

In order to prove that IQ is indeed inherited, Rachel’s parents decided to sue Israel for monetary damages for their daughter’s death. And, since suing Jews in a Jewish court for money wasn’t bad enough, they chose a man by the name of Hussein Abu Hussein as their lawyer.

Are you guys kidding me? You couldn’t find a Jewish lawyer in Israel. Did you look? I have a hunch you could have stopped random people on the street and found a lawyer within half a block.

In a ruling that surprised no one other than the Corrie’s, an Israeli judge just dismissed their stupid case, which they’re already vowing to appeal to the Supreme Court. I’m no lawyer, but I’ll bet you a pastrami sandwich and a glass of Manischewitz they don’t do any better there.

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