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The Codajoys aren’t particularly long lived, and when you factor in things like liver disease, suicide, and accidental death, the average life expectancy drops down into the 30s.

As a quick glimpse into my family, we had two people killed during W.W.II, and one died shortly afterward, but none died in combat. One was shot while sneaking back on base, one fell down the steps while drunk and broke his neck, and the last was shot and killed by his girlfriend.

I’ve accepted I probably won’t have a long life, so I like to do things that are fun. One of those fun things is drugs. If you can snort it, smoke it, slam it or create a gelled paste you can absorb rectally, I’ve probably tried it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a consistent drug user. Alcohol is my intoxicant of choice, but I do like to try things at least once.

I don’t accept the fact that the government can send me to prison for doing drugs. This isn’t 1920, and I’m not a crazed negro getting all hopped up on marijuana and racy jazz beats so I can threaten Jim Crow society. I would prefer just to sit in my office, listen to Cracker or Midnight Oil, and get high while I shoot darts at a cork board covered with pictures of people I hate.

Unfortunately, since drugs are illegal, they’re dangerous to buy and dangerous to use. And for some unknown reason pot has gotten ridiculously strong, and I would prefer to have options for selecting potency.

When I walk into a convenience store, I can buy light beer for a mellow drunk or a few 40s of malt liquor if I want to get torn up and shit my pants. I’d like that option with drugs. I also don’t see violent cartels controlling alcohol. The only time that happened was when it was illegal.

The war on drugs has been a fiasco, and it’s time to change course. If you legalize drugs, corporations will step in and dominate the market. We’ll get a safer, taxable product, a lower prison population and hopefully a system that gives addicts medical treatment instead of simply locking them in cages with violent felons.